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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (1732)	3/15/1999 11:25:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

Hey check this out! One fall day, a guy is out raking leaves and he notices a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse is a second hearse, and behind is a man walking sadly along, followed by a dog and then about 200 men walking in single file. The guy's intrigued, so he goes up to the man following the second hearse, and he asks him, "Who's in that first hearse?" The man says, "My wife." The guy says, "I'm sorry. What happened to her?" The man says, "My dog bit her and she died." The guy asks "Who's in the second hearse?" The man says, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." The guy says "Can I borrow your dog?" The man says, "Get in line." PSN

To: Barney who wrote (1732)	3/15/1999 11:27:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you." The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?" Bob says, "OK." Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK." Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up. The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it." Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with you?" The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it." PSN