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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (1733)	3/15/1999 11:22:00 AM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

Here's a good one sent to me this weekend. Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer Manufacturers >have accepted the Medical Associations suggestion that the following >warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: > >WARNING: consumption of beer may make you think you are whispering >when you are not. > >WARNING: consumption of beer is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may cause you to tell the same boring >story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may cause you to thay shings like thish. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may lead you to believe that ex-lovers >are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in the morning. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may leave you wondering what the hell >happened to your trousers. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may make you think you can logically >converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may make you think you have mystical Kung >Fu powers. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may cause you to roll over in the morning >and see something really scary (whose species and/ or name you can't >remember) > >WARNING: consumption of beer is the leading cause of inexplicable rug >burns on the forehead. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may create the illusion that you are >tougher, more handsome and smarter than some really, really big guy >named FRANZ. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may lead you to believe you are invisible. > >WARNING: consumption of beer may lead you to think people are laughing >WITH you. > >WARNING: Consumption of beer may cause an flux in the time-space >continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem >to literally disappear. > >WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. > PSN