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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Fred McCutcheon who wrote (1774)	3/18/1999 3:11:00 PM
From: Henry Volquardsen	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Any requirement they be new jokes? ____________________________ A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two----Test----Tickles."

To: Fred McCutcheon who wrote (1774)	3/21/1999 9:09:00 PM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 2733

A fellow bought a Beamer and was out on the Interstate for a nice evening >> drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he >> decided to open it up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw >> flashing red and blue lights in the rear view mirror. "There's no way they >> can >> catch my Beamer," he thought to himself and opened it up further. The needle >> hit 90 and then 100 ... suddenly he realized what he was doing and pulled >> over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, examined it >> and >> looked at the car. "It's been a long day and this is the end of my shift. >> I >> don't feel like doing more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse I've >> never heard, I'll let you go." The guy thinks a second and replies,"Last >> week >> my wife ran off with a cop. I thought you were bringing her back!".