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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rambi who wrote (32907)	3/20/1999 1:15:00 PM
From: LWolf	Respond to of 108807

penni.. re: finding time and saying no. When we're young, it seems we're always looking for things to do. Once we have responsibilities of work and family, there aren't enough hours in the day: there's too much to do, you're pulled in all directions by others and trying to satisfy your own needs is almost impossible. I started learning how to say no when I went through a difficult time in my life as my career was advancing in a high pressure job; I had strong willed difficult young children, my husbands career was suffering from the downsizing of the 80's, and his oldest daughter from a previous marriage who lived with us was having lots of problems. The webs and dilemmas seemed immense, and so I sought counseling to help me work through all the different issues. It was difficult learning to stand up to what I wanted and what was important for me. A lot of tough decisions and one of them was the idea of the 'mommy track' (the idea that you couldn't have a career and raise a family). I didn't want to be told I couldn't, I wanted to figure out how I could. I decided that my career advancement was extremely important to me and that was going to take a lot of my time. Another huge decision for me was that I would manage my income... not turn it over to my husband to manage. Setting up financial management strategies and plans had a very significant liberating effect. Just understanding that there was only so much time, and deciding what my priorities were; cleaning & cooking went to the bottom of the list. Just balancing my career with quality time for children and husband was about all I was willing to take on. During the past two years, as the company I worked for began undergoing major restructuring with a revolving door of senior management, I began re-evaluting what I wanted to do, and it didn't appear to be within corporate america anymore, so I left. (Funny thing about this decision, is that it came after a seminar I attended on personal mastery.) There still aren't enough hours in the day.. but I'm doing more of the things that I want to do, and saying no has become easier.