To: henry8th who wrote (11998 ) 3/24/1999 8:10:00 PM From: Gary E. Johnson Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 13994
THE NEW BILL OF RIGHTS We the People of the United States of America, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty for our selves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal, bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they even require a Bill of Rights. ARTICLE I: You do not have a right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but there is no guarantees. ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedoms, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, lower the volume, but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. You are responsible for your actions. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool company to make you and your relatives independently wealthy. ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of how you care for your free public housing, we are just not interested in free public health care. Article VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, abort, or kill someone, do not be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, do not be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you in a place where you still do not have a right to a big screen TV or a life of leisure. ARTICLE VIII: You do not have a right to demand our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and wouldn't stop political actions or you yourself from going to fight if you would like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat. Editors Note: The above article lacks some foresight. I would move that we not allow tyrants to come to power in the first place. Thus we would not be expected to participate in his removal after he has created a military power. ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness! Being an American means you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a great deal easier if you are not encumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created for those who have no common sense by those who were confused by the Bill of Rights and obeyed only by those that don't need them in the first place.. Please pass this on to whomever you wish. We think it is about time common sense is allowed to flourish - call it the age of reason revisited.