Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (1893)	3/31/1999 1:53:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Subject: You know the Viagra is working if: At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at a meeting, the table floats. Your face is very pale due to lack of blood. When you walk into a sauna, everyone stands and applauds. They begin to call you "the tripod." You begin to think your mother in law is pretty. Sunbathing nude outside standing: Birds perch on it. Sunbathing nude outside lying down: You look like a sundial. Everyone at the bank, grocery, etc... lets you go to the front of the line... Compared to you, Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar. You always lose limbo contests. Lewinsky wants you to be president someday. You can make drawings in the sand without having to find a stick. You like to sleep on your back, so you had to remove the ceiling fan

To: Barney who wrote (1893)	3/31/1999 3:20:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Respond to of 2733

I recently was reading the New Yorker and came across a cartoon where a elderly man was on his death bed and his relatives were all gathered round. The caption read, with the elderly man doing the speaking, "Get me my gun so I can squeeze off a few rounds before I go."

To: Barney who wrote (1893)	4/3/1999 8:57:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 2733

Two guys drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest. "If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant. "How do we enter?" asked the men. "Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, and if you guess right, you win free sex." "O.K., I guess 7," said one of the guys. "Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant. The next week, the two same guys returned to the same station to get gas. When they went inside to pay, the one fellow asked the attendant if the contest was still going on. "Sure," replied the attendant. "I'm thinking of a number between 1-10,if you guess right, you win free sex." "2," said the customer. "Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant,"Come back soon and try again." As they walked back to the car, the one downtrodden fellow said to theother, "You know, I'm beginning to think this contest is rigged." "No way" insisted the other. "My wife won twice last week."