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Non-Tech : Datek Brokerage $9.95 a trade -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: William T. Katz who wrote (11443)	3/31/1999 3:33:00 PM
From: Jon Tara	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 16892

"Have the appropriate people been fired?" LOL! The "appropriate people" are in charge!

To: William T. Katz who wrote (11443)	3/31/1999 4:24:00 PM
From: RockyBalboa	Respond to of 16892

Almost looks like an (intelligent) auto answer robot.

To: William T. Katz who wrote (11443)	4/1/1999 12:20:00 AM
From: Spots	Respond to of 16892

Dear Datekers of Great Fortitude (all who remain), intestinal and otherwise ... Sorry to intrude on your no doubt joyous exchanges on the wonders of Datek service, trades, and customer responsiveness, not to mention timely delivery of check writing, options trading, and free fries as promised for lo! these many years. Sorry, got a bit carried away there, but I'm so wrung up, you see, because ... today ... TODAY I got my FINAL DATEK STATEMENT. (at least i hope) Yup. Right there, it says, under the statement date of 2/26/99, received today 3/31/99, a bit earlier than normal, that my FINAL BALANCE CHECK has been posted, as of 2/1/99 in amount $0.03, leaving an ACCOUNT BALANCE of 0.00. Closing balance. NOW IT'S OFFICIAL! I was going to keep the check for posterity, but now I've decided to run out and cash it, not because I think Datek is going insolvent, no, not with all the money they make trading ahead, but because I DON'T WANT THEM TO CREDIT THAT DAMN 3 CENTS BACK TO MY ACCOUNT. Yep, I'm gonna cash that check, I'm gonna take that money, all of it, and I'm gonna SPEND IT. I hate to blow my profits, but this is the chance of a lifetime. Maybe a single-barrel highland malt, maybe a vintage Bordeaux, or maybe I'll ante up 22 more cents and buy a gumball from the bank lobby. I'm so excited, I just cain't hide it<ggg>. Regards, Spots