that is funny. should have though of that, since he also said he was an alumnus of andersen! we all know where he gets his education from! his blank post is worth as much as all of his others! lol.
_____________________
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he
was
increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal
hygiene
and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being
referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a
doctor
who offered a solution:
"The good news is that I can cure your headaches. The bad news is
that
it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which
causes
your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The
pressure
creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure
is
to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to
live
for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he
had
no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his
mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of
himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like
a
different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I
need
-- a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like
a
new suit."
The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job.", the
salesman said.
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in
the
mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe
and said, "Let's see 34 sleeve and ... 16 and a half neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the
collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9 and a half
...
wide."
Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new
underwear?"
Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said,"Let's see
...size
36."
Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would
press
your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one
hell
of a headache." >>
_______________________________________
>>> A man was driving along the highway and saw a rabbit hopping across
>>> the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but
>>> unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.
>>>
>>> The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled
>>> over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the
>>> rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so
>>> awful that he began to cry.
>>>
>>> A blonde woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side
>>> of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the
>>> man what was wrong.
>>>
>>> "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and
>>> killed it."
>>>
>>> The blonde told the man not to worry. She knew what to do.
>>>
>>> She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over
>>> to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the
>>> rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its
>>> paw at the two people and hopped down the road.
>>>
>>> Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two
>>> people again, hopped down the road another 10 feet, turned, waved, and
>>> hopped another 10 feet, turned and waved and repeated this again and
>>> again until it was out of sight.
>>>
>>> The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be
>>> in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded,
>>> "What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?"
>>>
>>> The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.
>>>
>>> It said:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Are you ready for this?
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Are you sure?
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> OK, here it comes . . .
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> "Hair Spray - Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds Permanent Wave."
>>
>
> |
