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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Blue On Black who wrote (6562)4/3/1999 4:55:00 PM
From: Larry Voyles  Respond to of 12754
 
We didn't expect to hear from you for 25 to life.

At the sentencing, Hizzoner Da Judge said that I should get the same punishment that Bill Clinton got, since our crimes were so similar.

He sentenced me to go home and face my wife. My innards froze at the thought. If I wasn't dead by sunset, I sure would wish that I was.

I screamed obscenities and charged him with violating my civil rights, since that sentence was obviously cruel and unusual punishment. The Old Lady would tear me into little pieces, and then pour salt and alcohol on the pieces!

Hizzoner got very angry and threatened to give me the *exact* same punishment that Bill got if I didn't apologize on the spot. I wasn't thinking clearly, so I didn't quite catch the magnitude of his threat. I was taking a deep breath to mouth off again when Hizzoner leaned over the bench and hissed "Would you like to face Hillary, too?" Exactly two heartbeats later, I was on my knees begging for forgiveness.

They drug me from the courtroom after I wrapped myself around the judge's ankles, still blubbering hysterical apologies.

And the rest, as they say, is history.