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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ilaine who wrote (20430)	4/4/1999 6:48:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 71178

Happy postEaster festivities! Am I glowing? DO you see my halo? I had six hours of church today; I should die now, while I have a shot at heaven. THree Alleluia Choruses, three He Lives! and three sermons. As my mother used to say, "Well, put a pearl in YOUR crown." I've met one or two jerky women here,(not here at DAR of course, here on SI) but many more men-- although isn't the ratio of men to women pretty high on SI, which might skew your results? Not that I disagree with you; I think you're right. I like Fetzer's Chardonnay; indeed, I have a glass with me right here. I never drink hard liquor and only drink beer at ball games, because it is "the thing to do" and seems to taste better there. Once I had a cup of wine at a game and it seemed inappropriate --like wearing a cocktail dress to a barbeque. I don't drink after dinner. I like my wine after the market closes and as I cook dinner. I think it's called pattern drinking. If I happen not to be home or my schedule is changed, I don't drink. I have no idea if it's supposed to be a drinking problem or not. I hope not, because I have no desire to change. I saw three of the four movies before the TV was confiscated by Son 2, who is home from skiing. Dan and CW have gone on to U. Va, where CW has been accepted as an Echols Scholar and is spending a night in the dorm. He finally heard from Stanford- he was rejected. I'll admit we were surprised and I think he was disappointed, or maybe just embarrassed. He sent out a group mailing e-mail to his friends informing them. So now it's Rice, U.Va, W&L, or U of R, which has offered him lots of money and thus become extremely attractive. We'll be so glad when this is over. Came home from church and found three billion dead termites in the sunroom. They must have swarmed this morning. WHat's stupid is the inspection guy was here two weeks ago. I paid him 175 dollars to tell me we didn't have termites. This happens every year. I'm just leaving their little dead bodies right there for him to see when he comes back. It's pretty disgusting though. A serious note. Ammo said "Mom, I'm scared. I don't want to be drafted and have to go to Kosovo. I don't even know where it is." And I feel very angry and threatened right now. And helpless.

To: Ilaine who wrote (20430)	4/4/1999 7:30:00 PM
From: E	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

I hadn't thought of it until you mentioned it, but maybe we are nicer to women online, and it think it's true that if one expresses oneself to a woman exactly as one would to a man, there is the danger of it sounding 'harsh.' Awareness of the second phenomenon would produce the first, wouldn't it? And as for the "usually complete jerks are men" observation, it might be that a tendency of women to speak more carefully or tactfully, which you imply, makes them less likely to be perceived as jerks; but really, i haven't noticed that the percentage of complete jerks is higher here among men than among women-- only that there are more men. Though it's true that the ultimate exemplars of jerkiness, at least on feelies, have been the rabid religious/bigotry nuts, and they've all been men. In life off of SI, my experience is that the relative percentages of complete jerks does not reflect well on women, if the criteria you use include both active and passive jerky characteristics. For example, i have rarely found myself, at a dinner party, or cocktail party, say, in a conversation with a man during which i couldn't find something interesting to talk about or ask him about or provoke a fun argument about; but i have, many times, felt as though i were going to begin whimpering and then weeping and then screaming when unable kindly to extricate myself from converse with a woman. I know that's a counterrevolutionary observation to make, and i don't know why it should be, though it may have something to do with the 'talk nice' thing. I have other conjectures about why this is (or, i should say, has been my experience,) but they're only conjectures.