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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Ilaine who wrote (33669)4/4/1999 7:39:00 PM
From: nihil  Respond to of 108807
 
By all means, the man should marry the woman who adores him. Having someone like that running around loose could be very dangerous. If she really adores him, it should be possible to strike a premarital deal to get weekends off, or something, to spend with the one the man adores. all can marry in some place (like Saudi Arabia) where multimarriage is legal (and recognized in some of the United States (like Hawaii or rural northern Arizona). If both the gals are generous, understanding, and wealthy or have very good jobs, it could work out very well for everyone concerned. Might be good the find a third woman who played bridge.



To: Ilaine who wrote (33669)4/4/1999 8:15:00 PM
From: Dayuhan  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
Your question is impossible to answer, for me at least. I can't speak for any man other than myself, and I can't really even answer for myself, never having been in either situation.

In general, I'd say that presumably there are some who enjoy being adored. I don't, possibly because I've only been adored by women I don't particularly care for. There is something canine, and also something thoroughly unrealistic, about adoration. Most people who adore others endow the adored one in their minds with qualities that are pretty thoroughly imaginary; it is typical of human nature that when the self-deception becomes clear, the adorer gets irritated with the adoree for not living up to the fantasy, rather than recognizing that the fantasy was never real to begin with. I would rather be liked for what I am than adored for what I am not.

To accept your postulate, though, it might be rather nice to be adored by someone you actually loved, and the converse might not be so bad either. I suppose it even happens, sometimes.