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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Larry Voyles who wrote (6580)	4/7/1999 11:32:00 PM
From: Blue On Black	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 12754

Larry, No doubt about it...the man is seriously evil. Another west Texas tale from my youth about 'Doc', which I suspect is the same person known to Solon as the infamous Dr Us....which could be.... Shortly after I received my drivers license, one of my best friends moved to the country....admittedly, all of the Texas Panhandle is 'country' that has slightly higher population in certain areas...but it was 'country' to me. The gravel road that I drove to see this friend was different than most Panhandle roads which were straight and laid out on section lines. It was marked by two 90 degree turns which served to avoid a house. They were clearly marked as 10 MPH curves which meant that I had to slow to about 35 MPH to slide around them. No problem....other than the yapping poodle that liked to chase cars. Since I had to slow so much, relatively, this small dog with a big mouth had about 200 yards to run along side and bark furiously....which really annoyed me. He was too short to send rolling by opening the car door. Bouncing cans off of it was satisfying but somewhat unreliable (poor aim while negotiating curves). I was at wits end about what to do about this 'yapper' other than stopping and shooting it in the head....which was was not viewed with any degree of enthusiasm by the local sheriff. I mentioned my frustration to 'Doc' about the situation. Of course he had a fiendish solution (that had some ramifications that he failed to mention). It was simple and beautiful. Just deflate a tire and insert a stout rag between the tire and rim...then re-inflate the tire. (Most tires had tubes then...yes, I am old....I have seen pterodactyls on wing). I decided to use a bath towel to make sure the dog could catch it. I thought (As much as any teen-ager ever thinks) "Dog grabs towel...Dog looses a few teeth...End of story...no more barking dog". 'Doc' assured me that this would end my problems with the 'yapper'. I did as directed and immediately headed out to visit my friend. There were some slight problems in actual practice - which 'Doc' failed to mention. When a dog grabs a towel inserted in a tire, the towel wraps up tight like a rope....which clenches around the dogs teeth. A whole mouth full of teeth are somewhat firmly attached to the dog. That tends to twist the dog up like a rope, too....which did not agree with the now dead dog. A dead dog, at the end of a knotted up towel, tends to beat the hell out of a TransAm that I did not really want beat up. So, I had to stop to cut the dog loose. It is really hard to cut a dog loose from a towel stuck in a tire when you have an 85 year old lady beating the hit out of you with a walking cane.* 'Doc' failed to mention this....for some reason. lee PS: I would not advise anyone in this situation to say to the old lady, "Would you mind biting that towel as I drive off"....unless you desire to become a fugitive for several weeks thereafter.