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To: zonkie who wrote (22234)4/9/1999 11:15:00 PM
From: TideGlider  Respond to of 26163
 
Oh yes..I imported the yEllen falling on the sword for her comrades thing to AZNT earlier today. *snif* She will do anything for attention. Sad in a way.Sad that we have to hear it. Someone just posted this fun thing on TSIG.

GATES vs GM

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000
miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (by Mr. Welch,
himself).

Here it is.

General Motors Corporation, Michigan...If GM had developed technology like
Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just
accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn,would cause your car to shut
down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought Car95 or CarNT. But
then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast,
and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single General Car Default warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say, "are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to
let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed
hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally
road maps(now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them.
Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to
diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by
the Justice department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as
the old car.
13. You'd press the start button to shut off the engine.



To: zonkie who wrote (22234)4/10/1999 12:14:00 AM
From: Janice Shell  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 26163
 
Maybe you could try to import Cindy to speak in yEllen's defense. I feel her contributions add that certain je ne sais quoi to a thread.

Think we should draw up a list of characters no thread should be without?