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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ilaine who wrote (34717)	4/13/1999 5:31:00 PM
From: Jacques Chitte	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

I think it is part of the human condition to generalize repeated negative experiences with members of Another Group onto the whole group. It's in our genes perhaps. I do note that controlling bigoted thought patterns requires vigilance and effort.

To: Ilaine who wrote (34717)	4/13/1999 6:55:00 PM
From: epicure	Respond to of 108807

Of course we are prejudiced. It MERELY means to pre-judge. Anyone with any intelligence generalizes. The good people simply recognize that there ARE people who do not fit the stereotypes, nasty people cannot see outside the box much less think outside it. Now as for middle Eastern people, I come across them regularly in the antique business. They do the estate sales, garage sales and flea markets just like I do. They are universally despised by anglos and others because of their incredible pushiness. They cannot help but bargain. Even if its 25 cents, they'll say "I give you 5 cents, ok ok?" Now I maintain this is cultural. And I think it works. Anglos are too polite to maintain their prices after a 10 minute onslaught of haggling. They give in, and harbor a grudge. Me, I haggle right back now, and I push (you must push when amongst the Middle Easterners or they will stomp all over you and buy all the best stuff- and they use their kids to act as linemen). What I do not like is that some of them steal at garage sales- but I hope this is merely because they are marginal economically right now. I hope its not a cultural thing.

To: Ilaine who wrote (34717)	4/14/1999 1:54:00 AM
From: MSB	Respond to of 108807

Before I bag this joint and look for other less classy places to hang-out for a week or two, there was one sentence in the post to which I'm responding which really caught my eye. The sentence being: Maybe if we think about our own weaknesses, it will give us insight into the weaknesses of others. While the remark is truly a wonderful thought indeed, and I can certainly appreciate the honesty from which it comes, I, probably at the risk of future detriment of or to my online personality (if that is even possible at this point), quip, "It sounds good on paper." However, I wouldn't recommend it, especially if you get on the wrong side of the wrong person and find yourself swimming against a tide of criticism because of it. You may never find yourself in such a situation, but I certainly know people who have. "Group Think" as eluded to sometime ago is a powerful motivator in a negative situation. Rare are the people who refuse to take sides. I must admit, you do seem to be able to walk the minefield rather confidently. I envy you in that regard. Back to the shadows, Mike (have taken into account that the word used was "think" and not the word "express", the latter being the emphasis on which my thoughts are presented.)

To: Ilaine who wrote (34717)	4/14/1999 8:11:00 AM
From: nihil	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

I am really distressed by your prejudice. I know it's based on experience, but that's one terrible problem about practicing law. You meet so many crooks and chiselers. Perhaps you don't meet enough middle eastern people in non-legal and non-shopping venues. When I was young, I prided my self as being completely unprejudiced and a soldier in the war for equality. I ran serious risks in the battle for racial justice. But there was a single national group I despised because of an injury one of them had done to me from which I generalized. Ashamed of myself, I tried to desensitize myself. Read about them. Tried to learn some language. Sought out and befriended students from the group (I was still in school). Later fell in love briefly with one girl of the group (it didn't last but we parted friends). Today perhaps my best friend is a member of the group -- a man of noble spirit and true learning, and a pious, observant worshipper of the religion of his sect (which I consider total nonsense). He admires me and says I am his sensei and guru. I would have missed knowing him enormously. I had to change long years before I could even talk to him. I am very glad I did. With respect to middle easterners, three of my closest professional associates (and one of my most successful Ph.D. advisees) were born in Egypt (I guess they count as middle easterners). One of them, a well known sociologist, is a man of remarkable decency. The others are economists and mathematicians, so allowances must be made. They are honest and honorable, but are sometimes so shrewd in business that their dealings are hardly to be understand by us Franks. They see no harm in asking for concessions. I am sure it is experiential and cultural. I like and trust them very much.