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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ilaine who wrote (34726)	4/13/1999 6:58:00 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

You see- you are NOT a bigot. You are prejudiced- and more power to you as I stated, I am too- but when you come across people who do not meet your stereotype you recognize it. That is why you are NOT a bigot.

To: Ilaine who wrote (34726)	4/13/1999 8:41:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

You are definitely not a bigot, CB! First of all, you have had a series of experiences from which you have deduced a pattern; we call this process learning. You do not indiscriminately assume that the pattern applies to all Middle Easterners, however. Your post makes it clear that you control the impulse to assume and deal with them as individuals, merely allowing your experiences to make you a bit more wary than you might otherwise be. As has been pointed out earlier, there are indeed cultural differences that make certain behaviors more likely among some groups than among others. To deny it in the name of being PC is to behave like an idiot. Moreover, there are cultural differences in expression. I have a treasured friend whom I met in grad school. He grew up in Pakistan. When my husband first met him, he couldn't shake the feeling of unease and mistrust. Finally, he confessed that he thought of this friend as "a sneaky Oriental." It had to do with the turns of phrase and cultural differences in handling situations. When we had navigated these shoals, the friendship could grow.