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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Gauguin who wrote (21710)4/14/1999 3:19:00 AM
From: Ilaine  Respond to of 71178
 
I don't think it's the alcohol thing that has me boggled. I just don't want to accept this thing my body is doing. I want it to be something else, something easy. Just little things - I'll never be able to get disability insurance. I am stuck with one life insurance company. Mass Mutual, they're OK, but I'll never be able to switch. It will be very difficult to get health insurance on my own. I have my husband's, but still - - just a bunch of crap, y'know?

Whine, whine, whine. I just don't want to *deal with it*, y'know?

In the meantime, Kerrie is in the hospital on 100% oxygen, she has adult respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS), she has fluid in all the interstitial tissue in her lungs and the oncologist says he can't do anything else. She'd probably give anything to trade. So I can't really bitch, can I?

I am done with the tedious, anal task of looking at piles of credit card receipts and comparing the numbers to the monthly statement to make sure it's right, and then pitching the ones that are not tax-related and putting the ones that are into the next pile, which will be entered on Quickbooks. That's maybe an hour before I can generate the stuff I need for a Schedule C - I'll do it tomorrow. I can at least estimate taxes accurately, now. I have a new TurboTax that I successfully installed on my computer without an "E" drive, and a new Quicken Deluxe that claims to be able to track investments, I am going to decide whether I can generate a Schedule D, or not, by April 15, tomorrow.

I'm going to look up methotrexate on PubMed now. Prepare myself.



To: Gauguin who wrote (21710)4/14/1999 3:47:00 AM
From: Ilaine  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
Back. Going to bed now. Methotrexate is OK. It'll help. I'm a big silly baby.

Hey, did I mention I got bifocals? Pain in the ass, too. I wear contact lenses all the time, but I can't read with them very well any more, and switching from contacts to reading glasses doesn't work, and putting magnifying glasses over the contact lenses works ok, but . . . . get the idea? I just don't want to accept that I am getting older and falling apart, that I am human, that I am mortal. I can no longer deny it.

Thanks for listening, you and your Farnessi. The forsythia are so beautiful now, bright yellow from tip to toe, everyone seems to have some in their yard. Bradford pear trees snow white with blossoms. Showier than the cherries, which are a demure pink all over. I try to imagine you sitting in your rubber pants in the mud, cheerfully unwinding blackberries and vines, one strand at a time.