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Pastimes : The Naked Truth - Big Kahuna a Myth -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: accountclosed who wrote (33310)	4/14/1999 6:45:00 AM
From: eddie r gammon	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 86076

I found this today. I think it fits very well in todays market (g) ================================================================= > Cynic's Guide to Hi-Tech > -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- > > - NEW - Different color from previous design > > - ALL NEW - Parts and accessories not interchangable with previous > design > > - EXCLUSIVE - Imported product > > - UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition > > - DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone > > - FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments > > - ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it > > - IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming > > - FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment > > - HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit > > - DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor > > - YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works > > - REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors' > > - BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it > > - FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does > > - DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others > > - MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix > > - RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope... > > - HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves > > - PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period > > - MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours > > - ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell! > > - BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise > > - HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it > > - SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by > Greyhound > > - NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, maybe this one will > work > > - MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction > > - CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can reach us from most > airports > > - UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before > worked THIS way > > - BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together > > - SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing > your check > > - MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain > > - LATEST AREOSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by > sBoeing >================================================================= erg