To: Zbyte who wrote (428 ) 4/15/1999 1:17:00 PM From: Susie924 Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 2380
I had to retype this... so sorry for any errors. Translations of Common phrases used by males: “I'm going fishing.” Really means: “ I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “It's a guy thing.” Really means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and there is no chance at all o making it sound logical.” “Can I help with dinner?” Really means: “Why isn't it already on the table?” “Uh huh.” “Sure honey.” or “Yes dear.” Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. “It would take too long to explain.” Really means: “ I have no idea how it works.” “I've been getting more exercise lately.” Really means: “ The batteries in the remote are dead.” “We're going to be late.” Really means: “Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.” “Take a break, honey you're working too hard.” Really means: “I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.” “That's interesting dear.” Really means: “Are you still talking?” “Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love.” Really means: “ I forgot our anniversary again.” “You expect too much of me.” Really means: “You want me to stay awake.” “That's women's work.” Really means: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.” “You know how bad my memory is.” Really means: “I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the VIN of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.” “Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal.” Really means: U have severed a limb, but I'll bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt.” “Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing.” Really means: “I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon.” “I can't find it.” Really means: “It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.” “What did I do this time?” Really means: “What did you catch me doing?” “I heard you” Really means: “I Have no idea what you said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.” “That looks terrific!” Really means: “Oh please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving.” “I missed you .” Really means: “I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we're out of toilet paper.” “I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are.” Really means: “I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again, but I'll die before I admit it.” “We share the housework.” Really means: “I make the messes, you clean them up.” “This relationship is getting too serious.” Really means: “You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck.” “ I don't need to read the instructions.” Really means: “ I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.” “I do help around the house.” Really means: “ I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.”