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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ilaine who wrote (21879)	4/15/1999 3:51:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

I'll make a donation; I want to see Gaugie get frantic.

To: Ilaine who wrote (21879)	4/15/1999 4:17:00 PM
From: Gauguin	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

50-100K would be nice. I would get so frantic I might relax. I admit it would take 5 or 6 to even get a rise out of me. jeez. I've survived the last 13 years, but our net worth is about 250 behind where I believe it should be. Nothing much can be said about that. I mean if you're lucky to be alive, I guess you're lucky. Does create a lot of uncertainty about the future. A lot. It creates a sort of confused depression. Very much so. For both of us. Add that to the depression and taxation that unending illness adds, and we're not enjoying life the way our talents should let us. The way we did fifteen years ago. I admit we're not as able to ward off these feelings as we should be or were then. It feels like we need to race to catch up, and it's scary. Not as scary as her doing it by herself, which has often been the fear, but..... Money doesn't hold much joy anymore. It should. We've been on the edge or sliding bkward too long. Before this decade, when there was money, often some of it was "extra". And it really felt like it. It felt like it could be used for something pleasurable. Like it was worth having, for that reason. Now using money for anything pleasurable feels like risk. It is risk. Like going to LA. But spouse insisted we should not hit seventy and never have seen those paintings. Money is the biggest thing on our minds. Along with whether I'm going to have some good years. It's a Bitch when your body self destructs at 34. Becomes unusable for the stuff you need to do. Know how to do. And takes away the time, occupies the time, to do it in. For you I could perk up anyway. I don't know if I should post this distressing crap, and I know it's not what you wanted to know, and we can never tell what's going to happen when we post to Paul, but it's what's really on my mind sometimes. A lot. Makes one afraid of the future and present. Being sick And afraid is not good. What is good? I'm beginning to remember some things. I think my buddy corticosteroid is leaving my system.