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To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (22128)4/17/1999 1:50:00 AM
From: Kid Rock  Respond to of 71178
 
Short Stories 1 year anniversary
#Subject-20326

Part I #reply-8977403
Part II #reply-8977520
Part III #reply-8977565

~166 stories



To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (22128)4/17/1999 10:44:00 AM
From: BlueCrab  Respond to of 71178
 
Use squirrels instead. Hell, in Holland they're using them for fertilizer.



To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (22128)4/17/1999 6:35:00 PM
From: Ilaine  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
Here, Freddie, a little non-PC LA humor for you, sent to me via e-mail by my husband:

THE CITY OF LOS ANGELES HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM

NAME ____________________

GANG NAME ___________________

TAG ____________________

HOOD ____________________

1). Little Jimmy has an AK 47 with a 30 round clip. He
usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13
rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings
can Little Johnny attempt before he has to reload?

2). Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to
Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what
is the street value of the rest of his hold?

3). Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how
many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's
$800 per day crack habit?

4). Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for
$40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?

5). Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a
Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW,
2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he
have to steal to have $900?

6). Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for
the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how
much money will be left when he gets out?

Extra credit bonus: How much more time will he get for
killing the ho that spent his money?

7). If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet
and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters
can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with
20% paint free?

8). Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27
girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls
Hector knocked up?

9). Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a boa
constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5
per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many
weeks can he feed the boa on one week's income?

10). Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at
35 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20
seconds to load his magnum, how far away will Billy be when
he gets whacked?