To: Tim Luke who wrote (28707 ) 4/17/1999 3:13:00 PM From: backman Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 90042
************off topic******** FIVE SURGEONS: Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like engineers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable." ******AND THEN COMES....**** A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. One day, the teacher brought in a great variety of Lifesavers candies, more flavors than you could ever imagine. "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these," said the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mints, but when the teacher had they put honey lifesavers in their mouths, all of the children were stumped. "I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your Mommy probably calls your Daddy all the time." Instantly, one little boy spat the Lifesaver candy out of his mouth and yelled, "Spit 'em out, you guys! They're assholes!" david PS: street, you've got a wierd style of FORE-play, I gotta sat