VOLUME 1 ISSUE 28cOUSIN SHORTYS FREE FREE CHICKEN SHEEt UNDERVALUED EMAIL TIP SHEET RUMOR NEWSLETTER!!!!(c)cOUSIN SHORTY
SPAcial LEgal RAMIFICAtion ISSUE!!!!!!!!!!!!
HEllO HEllO AGAInto all my FRIEnds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
IYAm HAppY to half today for yore daNCing and DININg enjoyment:
ANTI [expletive deleted] BASHer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANTi [expletive deleted] BASher isa REALLy smart DooD He went to HARVARd and he nos alll about the STICK MARkIT!
cS: WElCOme to the spaceCRAFT, A [expletive deleted] B!!!!!!!!1
A [expletive deleted] B: [expletive deleted] you , you [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted]. Turn off that machine that is emitting the blue light and I'll [expletive deleted] you up. [expletive deleted].
Blow me.
cS: AHA AHAAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 GooD One, A [expletive deleted] B, I wiLL do That but frist a few questions. Did you really go to HARVARD?
A [expletive deleted] B: [expletive deleted] you, [expletive deleted]. You piece of [expletive deleted], you are probably a [expletive deleted] like that Bill [expletive deleted] aren't you? [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted], all of you basher [expletive deleted]. [expletive deleted] you.
Blow me.
cS: AHA AHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL Take that as a "no". SO How are you doING IN THE MARkit A [expletive deleted] B??
A [expletive deleted] B: I'm doing just fine, you [expletive deleted]. I'm amassing tons of money on penny stocks. Tons. Hundreds of thousands of [expletive deleted] dollars. So [expletive deleted] you.
Blow me.
cS: WHAt is the Secret to YORe success????????
A [expletive deleted] B: Suck my [expletive deleted], you [expletive deleted] up piece of [expletive deleted].
Blow me.
cS: WOW!!!!!!!!! [whispers to newsletter subscribers] ~~~~ATTidoodinal PROBLEm hear. I'LL HALf to appLY some CONditioner to his Head...~~~~
You Own a gutter instALLATion and Repair Company, rite? Well, I may need Some Work done on the spaceCRAFT. Do you know How big it iS???
A [expletive deleted] B: Suck my [expletive deleted], you [expletive deleted] up piece of [expletive deleted].
Blow me. How big?
cS: iTS A Little over One of youR MILes in diameter. A Rhombo- icoso-dodecahedron. What YOU PEbblES Call a GEODESIc spHERE.
A [expletive deleted] B: [does a fast mental calculation] Yeah? Well that's about 15,000 or 21,000 [expletive deleted] linear feet of [expletive deleted] drainpipe. OK, Mr. [expletive deleted] Shorty [expletive deleted], perhaps we can do [expletive deleted] business. I'd go for the best, copper, I can give it to you for [expletive deleted] $23.44 a [expletive deleted] linear foot, [expletive deleted] installed.
cS: HOW AABout some answers to My QUEStions frist?????
A [expletive deleted] B: Sure, you bet, just [expletive deleted] kidding about the [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted], by the way. Ha hah. You'll need leaf guards with that. I can give those to you for an additional $139,000.00. That's my [expletive deleted] cost, I'll add the tax and there you [expletive deleted] have it.
[expletive deleted] deal?
cS: CaN YOU ANSWEr somequestins FRIst??
A [expletive deleted] B: Yeah, yeah. What do you want to [expletive deleted] know? Hurry up, time is [expletive deleted] money in the [expletive deleted] gutter business. Can't let a [expletive deleted] deal go down the [expletive deleted] drainpipe! [laughs loudly]
cS: Rite. You SEEM TO Sewer a lot for a HARVARD man>
A [expletive deleted] B: [expletive deleted] no, you moron. I lied about that. Those basher [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] don't know [expletive deleted]. I tell them anything and they [expletive deleted] believe it. They are unbelievably [expletive deleted] stupid and [expletive deleted] gullible. I almost said ‘blow me' there, but now that we are friends, I won't. [expletive deleted] cash or [expletive deleted] check, [expletive deleted]?
cS: COUple More Questins first. You ARE DOING goad in the market, so How are you DonG THAt?
A [expletive deleted] B: Inside information you [expletive deleted]. What are you, some kind of a [expletive deleted]? Everybody know this. There's a whole [expletive deleted] network of people that trade [expletive deleted] penny stocks with [expletive deleted] inside information. The promoters tout the stocks, we [expletive deleted] buy and [expletive deleted] sell according to their [expletive deleted] break points. [expletive deleted], are you a [expletive deleted] moron?
cS: AAHA AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Yes, I HERd abouT THAT! OK A [expletive deleted] B< I am going tO RELEASE The Bleu Foo Foo Ray on YO and I Half a few morE QUEATSU|Ins, OK?
[cOUSIN SHORTY releases the Blue Foo Foo Incapacitaing Ray, © 43662 Blue Foo Foo Incapacitating Ray Corporation TM all rights reserved used with permission offer may be void on some planets consult your local listings]
[A [expletive deleted] B falls to the floor, takes a deep breath, gets up, walks over to the closest end-table, pulls out a rusty single edged razor blade, a Booger King plastic straw with boogers on it, and a small onyx box with a crude painting of a jungle bird on it. He takes something out of the box and starts chopping it with the rusty razor blade.]
cS: WHOA WHOa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY Bud no DRUgs on the sPACEcrrapft here, no nonO>>
A [expletive deleted] B: [expletive deleted] you, you [expletive deleted]. This is stevia. Totally [expletive deleted] natural [expletive deleted] product.
[snorts 8 lines, breathes deeply and [expletive deleted] smiles]
[expletive deleted]! That's [expletive deleted] better. Where were we? You were asking about the [expletive deleted] penny stock market. Who gives a [expletive deleted] about that. I want to know if we have a [expletive deleted] deal on the [expletive deleted] drainage system for you house here. What [expletive deleted] time is it? You have [expletive deleted] cable? I don't want to miss [expletive deleted] People's Court. Yeah. [expletive deleted] Kmart, yeah. [expletive deleted]
[A [expletive deleted] B pulls a 4" long pink cylindrical object from his pants pocket and starts sucking on it.]
cS: Yipes/ DooD WHAt s that PINk THINGIE Your Scukning on their?
A [expletive deleted] B: This? This is my [expletive deleted] Wiley Psychic Bubblegum Cigar © 1999 [expletive deleted] Wiley Psychic Bubblegum Cigar Corporation All [expletive deleted] Rights Reserved! Actual [expletive deleted] size! I'm a very good [expletive deleted] sucker. [sucking furiously] I suck on one of these [expletive deleted] beauties almost every day. Blow me. Wait. Sorry. What [expletive deleted] time is it? You have [expletive deleted] cable? Do we have a [expletive deleted] deal? Pugs [expletive deleted] never lies. Quantas never [expletive deleted] crashed. What [expletive deleted] time is it?
[A [expletive deleted] B works out on the bubblegum cigar. Remnants of stevia surround his nostrils. He chops up another Extra Large Serving of Stevia and snorts it.]
cS: AAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH A!!!!!!!!!!! That's a FUNny mentAL PITCher, DooD!!!!!!!!!! Lolololololololissimo as JANCie wood Say.
A [expletive deleted] B: Nurfff. Ooooohhhh. Ahhhhhhhh. [expletive deleted] Short Squeeze coming up. I'm an excellent [expletive deleted] drainpipe engineer. [still sucking the bubblegum cigar] Nurfffff. Judge will [expletive deleted] rule soon, Mikey never [expletive deleted] lies. He's a great [expletive deleted] businessman. Nurffffff. I read the [expletive deleted] transcripts. Nurfffff. It's OK to pull a credit report without [expletive deleted] asking. Nurfffffffffff. What time is it? Nurffffff. [expletive deleted] Harvard, yeah. [expletive deleted] Firebombing, yeah. What [expletive deleted] time is it? [expletive deleted] Harvard. Do we have a [expletive deleted] deal on the drainpipe?
cS: Hey, A [expletive deleted] B, I tell YO WHAt. Yo neED TO go Take some MEASUREments on that New Drainpipe Job!! AAHAHA AHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
[cOUSIN SHORTY picks up A [expletive deleted] B, places him gently in the airlock, and places his tape measure in his left hand.]
Jest puLL on that Yellow LEVer whenever YO are Ready, DooD!!!!
AB: [still sucking furiously on the bubblegum cigar] Sue the [expletive deleted]. Guilty as [expletive deleted], [expletive deleted] bashers, [expletive deleted] it's obvious. Management never [expletive deleted]lies. Quantas. Harvard. [expletive deleted] Blow me. [expletive deleted]
[whooshing sound as A [expletive deleted] B goes E [expletive deleted] VA]
AHAA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What A CARd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is cOUSIN SHORTY Saying, UNTil Nextime See you at THE TOP!!!
Blow me © 1999 by A [expletive deleted] B
Everything else © cOUSIN SHORTY 1999
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