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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Susie924 who wrote (540)4/26/1999 2:12:00 PM
From: Sam LBI nj  Respond to of 2380
 
i did the patch...very easy so far....day by day...right..
Sam aka Sam



To: Susie924 who wrote (540)4/26/1999 2:27:00 PM
From: Sam LBI nj  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 2380
 
***Thaught of the Day***

If Winners never quit and quitters never win...why do they say to quit when your ahead?????

Sam



To: Susie924 who wrote (540)4/27/1999 3:09:00 PM
From: Sam LBI nj  Respond to of 2380
 
Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day.

Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the
fairway but rolled directly toward the water trap. Quickly Moses
raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side
safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one
directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the
center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus
casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green.

The third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It
heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby
street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree. From
there, it bounces onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolls down
into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and
toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, it hits a
little stone and bounces out over the water and onto a lily pad
where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped
up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just
then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away.

As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and
dropped the ball which bounced right into the hole for a
beautiful hole in one.

Moses then turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your
Dad!"

Sam.Com...From Shockydoc6



To: Susie924 who wrote (540)4/27/1999 3:12:00 PM
From: Sam LBI nj  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 2380
 
David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown
with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive.
Thosethat weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example...Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the
freezer.
For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream - then suddenly, there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the
freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said,

"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior.I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."
David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to
ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued,

"May I ask what the chicken did?"

Sam.com..from shockydoc6