Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Adelantado who wrote (2025)	4/27/1999 10:57:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2733

Some new billboards are getting some attention in Dallas. "God Speaks" billboards. The billboards are a simple black background with white text. No fine print or sponsoring organization is included. Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game. -God C'mon over and bring the kids. -God What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand? -God We need to talk. -God Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer. -God Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. -God That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it. -God I love you and you and you and you and... -God Will the road you're on get you to my place? -God Follow me. -God Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding. -God My way is the highway. -God Need directions? -God You think it's hot here? -God Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. -God Do you have any idea where you're going? -God Don't make me come down there. -God

To: Adelantado who wrote (2025)	4/27/1999 10:59:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

An eighty year old virgin woman went to the doctor because she had an itch in her crotch. She told the doctor her problem and he said,"You have the crabs". She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty year old virgin. She went to another doctor and explained her problem to him. The doctor said, "You probably have the crabs". "No" she said,"I am an eighty year old virgin." Frustrated, she went to a third doctor. She said, "Doctor can you help me? I have an itch in my crotch. Don't tell me that it is the crabs because I am an eighty year old virgin. It can not be the crabs." The doctor said, Jump on the table and let's have a look." After examining the doctor proclaimed, "Ma'am, your right, you do not have the crabs, this cherry is so old, you have fruit flies."

To: Adelantado who wrote (2025)	4/27/1999 11:03:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2733

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.) > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> The perfect woman. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. > >> > >> Women, end e-mail here. Men, keep scrolling. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident. > >> > >> By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this brings another point: women never listen either.