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Pastimes : Kosovo -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: George Papadopoulos who wrote (6201)4/30/1999 11:42:00 PM
From: George Papadopoulos  Respond to of 17770
 
BREAKING NEWS

White House - "President Clinton announced today an all out bombing offensive
against England will begin in two weeks, unless a peace accord is ratified by
England and its breakaway province of Northern Ireland. "Using the fine logic we
crafted in the Kosovo intervention, we have decided to add, incrementally, to the
list of peace initiatives around the world," he said in a prepared statement. A
background briefing indicated that on a weekly schedule, the Clinton
administration would intervene in the following areas:

Week 1 - Bombing of England to free Northern Ireland
Week 2 - Bombing of Ankara, Baghdad and Teheran to free Kurds.
Week 3 - Bombing of Africa to stop Hutus from killing Tutsis.
Week 4 - Bombing of Istanbul and Athens to fix the Cyprus problem
Week 5 - Bombing of Madrid to free the Basque Country.
Week 6 - Bombing of Ottawa to free the Quèbècois.
Week 7 - Bombing of Jakarta to free the Timor Islands
Week 8 - Bombing of New Delhi to free the Tamils of Sri Lanka
Week 9 - Bombing of Paris to free Corsica
Week 10 Bombing of Washington, D.C. to free the Confederate of Southern States,
held captive for 139 years.

"This schedule will do until we can come up with others and NATO peacekeepers will
be deployed everywhere," said Madeleine Albright, Secretary of State. She did not
respond when asked when the bombing of Beijing in order to free Tibet would occur.

End of BREAKING NEWS