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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Susie924 who wrote (591)5/3/1999 9:44:00 AM
From: Sam LBI nj  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 2380
 
Nicknames
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob
and John go out for a pint, they will
affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and

Useless.

Eating Out
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw
in $20. Even thought its only for $22.50. None of them will have
anything small, and none will actually admit they want
change back. When the girls get their bill out comes the pocket
calculators.

Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for
a $2 item that she doesn't want.

Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor a bar of soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average
number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cats
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't
looking, men kick cats.

Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A
man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress
up for weddings, funerals.

Natural
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.

Offspring
Ah, children. A Woman knows all about the children, She knows
about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Sam.com