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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (2072)	5/5/1999 11:06:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 2733

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!" She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!" She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing, To which the boy replied, yes he did, dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man comes home from work one day and finds his wife in bed with a midget. Fuming, he storms at her, "I thought you said you'd never cheat on me again!" "I meant it, too," she replied. Pointing to the midget, she said, "Can't you see I'm tapering off!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man and woman are riding up in an elevator. The man looks at the woman and says, "Can I smell your pussy?" She replies , "Hell no!" The man says, "Well, it must be your feet then."