To: jlallen who wrote (46931 ) 5/9/1999 12:05:00 AM From: greenspirit Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 67261
Well said JLA, and an interesting discussion. My take is that all too often children are ignored in homes when the need is not really there for one parent to work. What I believe has happened is the culture really doesn't value people who sacrifice and stay at home with their kids. So in order to meet actualization needs of "achievement" and "belonging", parents turn to work and an occupation to get that sense of belonging, and value. We've seen some of that cultural belief expressed on this board. How many of us when we really examine our inner selves would say, He's squared away, he's a stay at home Dad, or Mom? Vs. a lawyer, Doctor or any number of other professions? Here's a good example...Take a look around these stock boards. Many of the people who post day after day during the work hours are probably stay at home parents. Trading a bit here and there while their kids are at school and such. Now ask yourself. How many people put Domestic Engineer or Parent in their profile vs. say day-trader? And what does that tell us? Probably that they feel they will be looked down upon by others who post. Not everyone here can be a multimillionare expert trader, or member of the Executive wing of some multinational firm. If they were, I seriously doubt their duties would allow them the time to post day after day for hours at a time. Many people, I believe, live in a facade regarding who they really are here, in order to feel that same sense of belonging. Why? Because our culture doesn't give them a sense of value regarding simply being a good parent. And when you really think about it, nothing could be more important for the future of our country, and planet than that. When I meet people at functions who have really achieved amazing success in their work, I like to ask them if they have any children? And how they are doing. You find out a lot more about a person that way to me. Sometimes they will say, we didn't have any, and I get a little quizzical look in my eye, then they usually volunteer that they tried for many years and just couldn't. When that happens, I really feel a lot of empathy for them. Because usually they throw themselves deeply into their work as a way of hiding the pain of being childish. We need a cultural reawakening where we truly value on an equal footing parents who decide to forgoe the trappings of material things and spend deep lasting time with their kids. We need to work toward removing the fear prevalent in our culture regarding other neighbors, and adults. In one sense Hillary was right, small communities of neighbors can be like villages and help raise a child. We have lost that sense of village in far too many communities today. Ish has a good point however, many dual income parents must work. I wonder though how much of that is due to the increasing tax burden we all must pay? Michael