Yes, and:
A Vulture at a crack party, [see Anarchy] (1882)
by Amanda Matthew-Arnold
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTRODUCing one of his speeches a short time ago, that fine whiner and famous Liberatarian-Conservative, Mr. NottooBright, took occasion to have a fling at the friends and preachers-hey, what's a few more crack-babies? I mean, he had a smattering of dead babies in his magic bag, along with two dictionaries...one Greek and one Latin. He went on to remark, in a strain with which modern speakers and writers have attributed to ED...[Goddess bless BobDoles Left Hand] rendering us very familiar with how the poor thing is,...well, how little it is...what good can it do the world, and how absurd it is for its possessors to stop with the Viaggravation!
Set it in a windowbox, or stowe it, if you like!
And the other day a younger crack-baby Liberal...one of a school whose mission it is to ring in The New World Order and System, contaminated his body with baby laxitive, which caused the fatal-fumble...earlier nihilists merely flailed. A member of the University of Oxford, and a very clever writer, Mr. Frederic Harridong, developed, with his methodology and systematic albeit stringent manner of his school, the thesis which Mr. NottooBright had pounded in... 'Perhaps the very silliest cant of the day,' said Mr.Frederic Harridong, 'is the cant about culture. Culture is an undesirable quality... in a critic of new books, and sits well on a possessor of belles lettres; but as applied to politics, it means simply a turn for small fault-finding, love of selfish ease, and indecision in action. The "man" in politics is one of the poorest mortals alive. For simple pedantry and want of good length, no man is his equal. No ass is too real, no rear-end is too unpractical for him. But the active exercise of politics requires a tight-end, common lubricant, sympathy for the devil, in Goddess we trust, resolution and enthusiasm, qualities which all Women will have as they casually root up, [lest they damage the delicacy of his cranial nerve] the critical olfactories prior to the drug abuse. Perhaps they are the only class of responsible beings in the community who cannot with safety be entrusted with crack-babies!.'
2 Now for my part, I must admit...it could be bigger. I do not wish to see men of culture asking to see my membah become encrusted with plaque, power; and, indeed, I have freely said, that in my opinion the product is most proper, at present, for a man of culture to make a body of his fellow-countrymen who get him into a tight committee-room, is Socrates's:
Know thyself!
-and this is not a speech to be made by men wanting to be entrusted with the crusting and rusting of mechanical power. For this very indifference to direct penile reaction, I have been taken to task by the Daily Telegraph, coupled with strange four-legged creatures, I have enjoyed a pervasive perversity of fate, with just that very one of the Hebrew prophets whose gonads I admire the most, and called 'an elegant Jeremiah.'
It is because I say (to use the words which the Daily Telegraph puts in my mouth):--'You mustn't make a fuss because you have no Realdoll,--that is vulgarity; you mustn't hold yourself or expose yourself during big meetings to agitate for mandatory Viaggravate in public schools...reform bills and to repeal corn-cobb laws,--that is the very height of vulgarity,'--it is for this reason that I am called, sometimes an elegant Jeremiah, sometimes a spurious, dress-left Jeremiah, a Jeremiah about the reality of whose self description the writer in the Daily Telegraph has his doubts. It is evident, therefore, that...therefore and as it were, I have so taken my line as not to be exposed to the whole brunt...now give me that PIPE! Still, I have softly spoken in praise of laxatives that are kinder, I have striven to make all my works and ways gentler...serve the Servants... I take Prozac, too. Nay, even though to a certain extent I am disposed to agree with Mr. Frederic Harridong, that men of culture are just the ass of the Beast...responsible beings in this community of ours will take up arms and properly, at present, probe the wounds...I am not sure that I do not think this the fault of our community rather than of the men of culture. It's short, although, like Mr.NottooBright and Mr. Frederic Harridong, and the editor of the Daily Telegraph, and a large body of valued friends of mine, I am a not a crack-baby Liberal, yet my membah is tempered by experience, reflexion, and renouncement, and I am, above all, a believer in Viaggravation!.
Therefore I propose, promolgate and profess... now to try and enquire, in the simple unsystematic way which best suits both my testes and my membah's membah's, what crack really is, what good it can do, what is our own special need of it; and I shall seek to find it...and then to have faith in it and the faith of others membah's,--may Mine rest securely...
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