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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (2194)	5/28/1999 4:40:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2733

Subject: Blonde bank robbery Two blondes, Trish & Robin, decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Trish plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Robin, in great detail. The robbery begins. Trish drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Robin, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?" "Perfectly," said Robin. Robin goes in the bank while Trisha waits in the getaway car. One minute passes . . . Two minutes pass . . . Seven minutes pass . . . and Trisha is really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Robin. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Trisha says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!" Robin said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!" "No, you idiot," said Trish. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"

To: Barney who wrote (2194)	5/28/1999 4:46:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 2733

A fifth grade teacher is told she must teach sex education to her class. She decides to use a math technique to teach the subject, and thinks flash cards will work well. The next day in class, she holds up the first flash card, a picture of a breast, and asked "does anyone know what this is?" Little Suzie responds-"I know, I know! It's a picture of a breast and my mommy has two of them!" The teacher says "very good Suzie, you get a star for the exercise" The teacher grabs the next card and holds it up. It's a picture of a penis. She asks "Does anyone know what this is?" and little Tommy says "I know I know! It a penis and my daddy has two of them!" The teacher says "well Tommy, It is a penis but your daddy can't have two of them." Tommy says "sure he does, he's got a little one he pees out of and a great big one he brushes mommy's teeth with!"