Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (816)	6/2/1999 9:47:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Subject: 35 THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN 1. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite. 2. A 4 year-olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 3. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. 4. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. 5. Baseballs make marks on ceilings. 6. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. 7. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. 8. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 9. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 10. When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late. 11. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 12. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 13. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. 14. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes. 15. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep. 16. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old. 17. Duplos will not. 18. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. 19. Super glue is forever. 20. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know. 21. Ditto Tarzan. 22. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 23. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 24. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 25. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 26. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 27. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. 28. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. 29. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 30. The fire department in Mesa has at least a 5 minute response time. 31. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. 32. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 33. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 34. Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry. 35. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).

To: Susie924 who wrote (816)	6/2/1999 9:51:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Subject: Loving Children The Most Caring Child Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

To: Susie924 who wrote (816)	6/2/1999 9:53:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

Discouraged? As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was. "We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile. "Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged." "Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face."Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet,"

To: Susie924 who wrote (816)	6/2/1999 9:55:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Roles And How We Play Them Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in my life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement."Guess what Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me, "I've been chosen to clap and cheer."