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Politics : Ask Michael Burke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Knighty Tin who wrote (61348)	6/3/1999 4:25:00 PM
From: Joss	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 132070

Mike, Thought you would appreciate this: Steve Subject: The Americans With No Abilities Act WASHINGTON, DC - On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act, signed into law by President Clinton in Shanghai shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses. "Roughly 50 percent of Americans-through no fault of their own-do not possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Clinton, a longtime ANA supporter. "Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end busywork: Xeroxing documents written by others, fulfilling mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions of nonabled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not a reality." Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million important-sounding "middle man" positions will be created in the white-collar sector for nonabled persons, providing them with an illusory sense of purpose and ability. Mandatory, non-performance-based raises and promotions will also be offered to create a sense of upward mobility for even the most unremarkable, utterly replaceable employees. The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire nonabled workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one non-germane worker for every two talented hirees. Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act also contains tough new measures to prevent discrimination against the nonabled by banning prospective employers from asking such job-interview questions as, "What can you bring to this organization?" and "Do you have any special skills that would make you an asset to this company?" "As a nonabled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up with co-workers who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a Minneapolis tile wholesaler last month because of her lack of notable skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of the Americans With No Abilities Act, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Clinton: "It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings, to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her lack of value to society or, for that matter, the human race; some sort of void to fill in this great nation." __

To: Knighty Tin who wrote (61348)	6/3/1999 4:27:00 PM
From: Robert	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 132070

MB -- Interesting divergence AGAIN today between the Dow and the Nasdaq. Seems the two have completely decoupled and are ping ponging back and forth against one another. Dow up 86, Naz down 29. S&P up about 5 while yield on 30-year is still dangerously close to 6%. I agree with you that the back up in rates will be more or less self-correcting, as the piercing of 6% ultimately triggers a sharp drop in equities, leading in turn to a flight to quality back into Treasuries and a repeat, perhaps on an even greater scale, of the action of last October. I have this feeling in my gut that we are close to some type of financial Armageddon, but I am just not sure what the immediate trigger will be. Rates? (most likely I think) China problems? Kosovo? Something else? Take your pick, but things are NOT looking good in the world right now. I guess the best thing to do is curl up with some nice warm puts and wait for it all to blow over. <vbg> What do you think about the broader market/macro backdrop heading into tomorrow morning's number? As always, TIA. -- Robert

To: Knighty Tin who wrote (61348)	6/3/1999 4:38:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 132070

Signs of intelligent life on the Dell thread, and from three of your old nemeses, at that: Message 9913309 techstocks.com techstocks.com >>>>>not sure how much more dell can achieve as an assembler, in the sense of growth, at some point you run into a wall....<<<<<