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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Zaphod who wrote (2008)5/21/1997 11:58:00 AM
From: Andreas Puppka   of 62558
 
WOMAN:
-----
WORKPLACE

HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS

INFORMATION SYSTEM

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
--------------------------

WOMAN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT:?Woman
SYMBOL:?WO2
DISCOVERER:?Adam
ATOMIC MASS:?Accepted at 100 lb but been known to vary from 70 to 500 lb.
OCCURRENCE:?Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
-------------------
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states ranging from virgin to common ore.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
-------------------
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in
alcohol.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
-----------
1.__Highly_ornamental,_especially_in_sports_car.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
-----
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
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