Good thing the jokes don't have to be clean. :-)
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A mother and her young son walking through a cemetery passed by a headstone inscribed: "Here lies a lawyer and an honest man." The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked: "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"
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A physician, an engineer, and a lawyer were discussing which of their respective professions was the oldest. The physician said: "Remember that, on the sixth day, God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making her the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession." The engineer replied: "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus she was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is older than medicine." Then, the lawyer spoke up: "Yes, but who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"
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One cold winter's night last century, an evangelist was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town. He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business, but not one offered to allow him into the circle. He told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno. When one of the lawyers asked him what he'd seen, he replied: "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place." |
