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To: HEXonX who wrote (5833)6/15/1998 4:35:00 PM
From: Jack Colton   of 62563
 
Another Oldie but Goldie:

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system. We
are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data
that is Year 2000 compliant.

The program is to be referred to as: the"Millennia Year Application
Software System" (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in
which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will continue demonstrations
throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get
a good look at MYASS.

As for the status of the implementation program, I have not addressed
the networking aspects so currently only one person at a time can use
MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on
it. Just this morning I walked into a subordinate's cubicle and was not
surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. I've noticed that
some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MYASS.

Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I

had a secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous, I've never put anything
in MYASS before." I volunteered to help her through her first time and
when we were through she admitted that it was relatively painless and she
was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say
that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MYASS.

I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon
initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been
eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however,
protection will be required prior to entering MYASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information associated with
the business. So as you begin using the program, feel free to put
anything you want in MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time
when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a
paper to an employee and say, "Here stick this in MYASS."

This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company
during recent OSH and ISO audits. After requesting certain historical
data the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the
information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly,
our Environmental Manager proudly stated, "Simple, I just pulled them out
of MYASS!"

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