Q. What was Tarzan's last words?
A."Jane, Jane the vine Jane"!
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Rejected Greeting Cards
1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day...
Look at the bright side,
she's a really good lay.
2. My tire was thumping,
I thought it was flat...
but when I looked at the tire
I noticed your cat.
Sorry.
3. You had your bladder removed,
and you're on the mends...
here's a bouquet of flowers,
and a box of Depends.
4. You've announced that you're gay,
won't that be a laugh,
when they find out you're one of,
the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
5. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy.
6. Heard your wife left you...
How upset you must be...
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me
7. Your computer is dead...
it was once so alive
Now don't you regret...
installing Windows 95?
8. You totaled your car...
and can't remember why...
could it have been...
that case of Bud Dry?
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Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car
which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES.......$50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign,
stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES."
They asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, "Well, that's a
little different, it pertains to religion." So the two ladies took their sign down and took off.
The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two
ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had
an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign
which read..........
"TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER.....$50.00."
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