An Alabama Valentine
> > Kudzu is green,
> > my dog's name is Blue
> > And I'm so lucky
> > to have a sweet thang like you.
> >
> > Yore hair is like cornsilk
> > A-flappin in the breeze.
> > Softer than Blue's
> > And without all them fleas.
> >
> > You move like the bass,
> > Which excite me in May.
> > You ain't got no scales
> > But I luv you anyway.
> >
> > You're as graceful as okry
> > Jist a-dancin' in the pan.
> > Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop
> > Right out of the can.
> >
> > You have all yore teeth,
> > For which I am proud;
> > I hold my head high
> > When we're in a crowd.
> >
> > On special occasions,
> > When you shave yore armpits,
> > Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
> > I'm plumb outta my wits.
> >
> > And speakin' of wits,
> > You've got plenty fer shore.
> > 'Cuz you married me
> > Back in '74.
> >
> > Still them fellers at work
> > They all want to know,
> > What I did to deserve
> > Such a purty, young doe.
> >
> > Like a good roll of duct tape
> > Yo're there fer yore man,
> > To patch up life's troubles
> > And stick 'em in the can.
> >
> > Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler
> > Racin' through the mud,
> > Yet fragile as that sanger
> > Named Naomi Judd.
> >
> > Yo're as cute as a junebug
> > A-buzzin' overhead.
> > You ain't mean like no far ant
> > Upon which I oft' tread.
> >
> > Cut from the best pattern
> > Like a flannel shirt of plaid,
> > You sparked up my life
> > Like a Rattletrap shad.
> >
> > When you hold me real tight
> > Like a padded gunrack,
> > My life is complete;
> > Ain't nuttin' I lack.
> >
> > Yore complexion, it's perfection,
> > Like the best vinyl sidin'.
> > Despite all the years,
> > Yore age, it keeps hidin'.
> >
> > And when you get old
> > Like a '57 Chevy,
> > Won't put you on blocks
> > And let grass grow up heavy.
> >
> > Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
> > With a RC cold drank,
> > We go together
> > Like a skunk goes with stank.
> >
> > Some men, they buy chocolate
> > For Valentine's Day;
> > They git it at Wal-Mart,
> > It's romantic that way.
> >
> > Some men git roses
> > On that special day
> > From the cooler at Kroger.
> > "That's impressive," I say.
> >
> > Some men buy fine diamonds
> > From a flea market booth.
> > "Diamonds are forever,"
> > They explain, suave and couth.
> >
> > But for this man, honey,
> > These will not do.
> > For you are too special,
> > You sweet thang, you.
> >
> > I got you a gift,
> > Without taste nor odor,
> > Better than diamonds
> > it's a new trollin' motor.
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