WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
The lineage can now finally be revealed. Many people are at a
loss for a response when someone tells them, "You don't know
Jack Schitt." Now you can intelligently handle this situation.
Obviously full of family inbreeding, here's the family lineage:
Jack was the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt,
the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, who was the owner of
Kneedeep N. Schitt Incorporated. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe
Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children:
Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins,
Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Now, against her parents wishes, Deep
Schitt married Dumb Schitt, who was a High School drop-out.
This so upset Jack and Noe Schitt that it ended their fifteen year
marriage. A few years later, Noe Schitt re-married a man named Mr.
Sherlock. Now because her kids were still living with her she felt
it important to also maintain their last name, so she became known
as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt, Deep Schitt's twin, married
Loda Schitt. They produced a nervous son named Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were always inseparable as kids, so
they married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The
wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
"Schitt-Happens" wedding. The Schitt-Happens
children were named Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, who was the prodigal son, left home to travel the
world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa
Schitt. So there you have it, and now you can say that in fact,
you do know Jack Schitt.
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