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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: John Carragher who wrote (13435)2/13/2000 6:51:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis   of 62563
 
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods:

~On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only
time I have to work on my hair!)

~On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

~On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that
would be how?)

~On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But
it's *just* a suggestion!)

~On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: printed on bottom of the box) Do not
turn upside down. (Ha! Too late! You lose!)

~On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

~On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But
wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

~On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate
machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

~On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

~On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. (Or pets!)

~On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor
use only. (As opposed to use in outer space or underground?)

~On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (OK,
now I'm curious.)

~On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (No comment.)

~On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet,
eat nuts. (I knew I should have flown United.)

~On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or genitals. (Definitely no comment)

~On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood
fantasy!)
~Princess Kelsey~
*Don't ever give up on your lost causes..cuz you never know when your
luck
might change..*~DC
*I'm so glad you came back tonight, I have to grow up tommorrow*
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