1999 Darwin awards (I think these have not been posted before).
(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old man died of injuries sustained from
> a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his
> buddy. His plan was to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while
> expectorating, in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a tragic
> miscalculation, his momentum carried him right over the railing, which he
> caught hold of for a few moments before his grip slipped, sending him
> plummeting 24 feet to the cement below. The Military specialist had a
> blood alcohol content of 0.14%, impairing his judgment and paving the way
> for his opportunity to win a Darwin Award.
> ------------------------------------------
> (11 August 1999 Germany) A 42-year-old man killed himself watching the
> eclipse while driving near Kaiserslautern, Germany. A witness driving
> behind him stated that the man was weaving back and forth as he
> concentrated on the partially occluded sun, when he suddenly accelerated
> and hit the bridge pier. He had apparently just donned his solar viewers,
> which are dark enough to totally obscure everything except the sun.
> --------------------------------------------
> (25 May 1999, Ukraine) A fisherman in Kiev electrocuted himself while
> fishing in the river Tereblya. The 43-year-old man connected cables to
the
> main power supply of his home, and trailed the end into the river. The
> electric shock killed the fish, which floated belly-up to the top of the
> water. The man waded in to collect his catch, neglecting to remove the
> live wire, and tragically suffered the same fate as the fish. In an
ironic
> twist, the man was fishing for a mourning meal to commemorate the first
> anniversary of his mother-in-law's death.
> --------------------------------------------
> (16 August 1999, Germany) A hunter from Bad Urach was shot dead by his
own
> dog on Monday. The 51-year-old man was found sprawled next to his car in
> the Black Forest. A gun barrel was pointing out the window, and his
> bereaved dog was howling inside the car. The animal is presumed to have
> pressed the trigger with its paw. Police have ruled out foul play.
> --------------------------------------------
> (1999, Nicosia, Cypress) Under similar circumstances, an Iranian hunter
> was shot to death near Tehran by a snake that coiled around his shotgun
as
> he pinned the reptile to the ground. Another hunter reported that the
> victim, named Ali, tried to catch the snake alive by pressing the butt of
> his shotgun behind its head. The snake coiled around the butt and pulled
> the trigger, shooting Ali in the head.
> --------------------------------------------
> (August 1999, Australia) Drinking oneself to death need not be a long
> lingering process. Allan, a 33-year-old computer technician, showed his
> competitive spirit by dying of competitive spirits. A Sydney, Australia
> hotel bar held a drinking competition, known as Feral Friday, with a
> 100-minute time limit and a sliding point scale ranging from 1 point for
> beer to 8 points for hard liquor. Allan stood and cheered his winning
> total of 236; (winners never quit!) which had also netted him the
> literally staggering blood alcohol level of 0.353, 7 times greater than
> Australia's legal driving limit of 0.05%. After several trips to the
usual
> temple of overindulgence, the bathroom, Allan was helped back to his
> workplace to sleep it off, a condition that became permanent. A forensic
> pharmacologist estimated that after downing 34 beers, 4 bourbons, and 17
> shots of tequila within 1 hour and 40 minutes, his blood alcohol level
> would have been 0.41 to 0.43, but Allan had vomited several times after
> the drinking stopped. The cost paid by Allan was much higher than that of
> the hotel, which was fined the equivalent of $13,100 US dollars for not
> intervening. It is not known whether Allan required any further
embalming.
> ----------------------------------------------
> (28 January 1999, London) A flock of sheep charged a well-meaning British
> farmer's wife and pushed her over a cliff to her death. Betty Stobbs,
67,
> was charged by dozens of sheep as she brought them a bale of hay on the
> back of a power bike. The sheep rushed forward and rammed the vehicle,
> knocking Betty and her bike over the edge of a vacant 100' quarry near
> Durham, in northeastern England. "I saw the sheep surround the bike. The
> next thing I knew, she was tumbling down the incline," neighbor Alan
> Renfry told reporters.
> -----------------------------------------------
> First Runner up Award goes to ... (22 March 1999, Phnom Penh) Decades of
> armed strife have littered Cambodia with unexploded munitions and
> ordnance. Authorities warn citizens not to tamper with the devices.
Three
> friends recently spent an evening sharing drinks and exchanging insults
at
> a local cafe in the southeastern province of Svay Rieng. Their
> companionable arguing continued for hours, until one man pulled out a
> 25-year-old unexploded anti-tank mine found in his backyard. He tossed it
> under the table, and the three men began playing Russian roulette, each
> tossing down a drink and then stamping on the mine. The other villagers
> fled in terror. Minutes later, the explosive detonated with a tremendous
> boom, killing the three men in the bar. "Their wives could not even find
> their flesh because the blast destroyed everything," the Rasmei Kampuchea
> newspaper reported.
> -------------------------------------------
> And the 1999 Darwin Award winner is..... (5 September 1999, Jerusalem)
The
> switch away from daylight savings time caused consternation among
> terrorist groups this year. At precisely 5:30 Israel time on Sunday, two
> coordinated car bombs exploded in different cities, killing three
> terrorists who were transporting the bombs. It was initially believed
that
> the devices had been detonated prematurely by klutzy amateurs. A closer
> look revealed the truth behind the untimely explosions. Three days
before,
> Israel had made a premature switch from Daylight Savings time to standard
> time in order to accommodate a week of Slihot, involving pre-sunrise
> prayers. Palestinians refused to "live on Zionist time." Two weeks of
> scheduling havoc ensued. The bombs had been prepared in a
> Palestine-controlled area, and set on Daylight Savings time. The Confused
> drivers had already switched to standard time. As a result, the cars were
> still en-route when the explosives detonated, delivering to the
terrorists
> their well- deserved demise.
> |
