Golf Is Blind
> >
> > A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how
> > they would continue the relationship after their vacations were over.
> >
> > "It's only fair to warn you Jody," he said. "I'm a golf nut. I live,
> > eat, sleep and breathe golf."
> "Well, since you're being honest, so will I," Jody said. "I'm a
> hooker."
> >
> > "I see," he said. Then brightening, he smiled. "It's probably because
> > you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."
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The Pilot and the Ground Traffic Controller
It was a foggy, busy "rush-hour" morning at LaGuardia Airport in New York.
A US Airways flight was taxiing to "the active" when they made a wrong turn
and came nose-to-nose with a United Airlines 727.
The irate ground controller (a woman) lashed out at the US Airways crew;
screaming and shouting on the ground control frequency. She ended her
tirade with "You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half
hour, and I want you to go exactly WHERE I tell you, WHEN I tell you, and
HOW I tell you. You got that, US Airways?"
The humbled crew responded: "Yes, Ma'am."
The frequency went terrible silent. No one wanted to engage the irate ground
controller in her current state. Finally, after what appeared to be an
eternity, an unknown captain from another airline came up on the
frequency............"Wasn't I married to you once?" he asked.
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Proper Attire
One weekend, a couple decided to take their teenage daughter to a shopping
mall in a nearby town.
As they were getting ready to go, the girl came downstairs dressed in
short shorts and a spaghetti string top.
An anticipated fight broke out between the girl and her father over her
inappropriate attire.
In order to keep the peace, the mother stepped in and reminded her husband
that when they were young she had dressed the same way; it was the style.
He said, "Yeah! Well, if you remember right I had something to say about
that, too!"
"Yes dear," she said, "you did ... you asked me for my phone number!"
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Concerned Wife
A woman, who plays cards once a month with a group of friends, was
concerned about always waking her husband up when she came home around
midnight.
One night she decided she would do her best to not rouse him.
She undressed in the living room and, with her purse over her arm, tiptoed
nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.
"Geesh!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose EVERYTHING?" |
