STEPHEN WRIGHT LINES
>
> * What is the speed of dark?
> * When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
> * Why are the Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
> * How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
> * What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
> * After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out
> of the water?
> * What's another word for synonym?
> * If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
> it considered a hostage situation?
> * When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
> * Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
> * Why isn't there a mouse flavored cat food?
> * Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers
> aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
> * How can there be self-help groups?
> * Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink
> and drive?
> * Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited
> there?
> * If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
> * Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
> * Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
> * Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
> * When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to
> throw the top one away?
> * When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why
> you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
> * What happened to the first 6 "Ups"?
> * If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called green or a lemon
> called a yellow?
> * Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
> * If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
> * It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room
> temperature.
> * I lost a button hole.
> * I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.
> * Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I
> think I've forgotten this before.
> * Sponges grow in the ocean? I wonder how much deeper the oceans would
> be if that didn't happen.
> * Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
> * If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
> * I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the
> statues that are in all the other museums.
> * What's another word for Thesaurus?
> * You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
> * If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
> * I planted some bird seed. A bird grew. Now I don't know what to
feed
> it.
> * You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology
> experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's
> part of the experiment?
> * The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
> * I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly
> the prescription ran out.
> * I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything
> specific.
> * I busted my mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks
> he can get me five.
> * When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station.
> Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he
> said.
> * I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they
> left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
> * I have an answering machine in my car. It says "I'm home now. But
> leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
> * On the other hand, you have different fingers. |
