Everyone just LOVES groaners....once in a while...here are two:
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am sooo sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theater followed by drinks.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for an intimate nightcap...and stay for breakfast the next morning.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No, she replies........."
"You just happened to catch my eye."
XXXXXXXXXXXXX Wait, it gets worse. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them. Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her. After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"
He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."
Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. "Well,? Is she selling drugs?" she asked, excitement pouring out with her voice.
"No, she's not." He said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. "Well,? What is it, then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned...
......................and said,
(are you ready for this??????)
(are you sure??????????)
ok Here it comes !!!!!!!!!
"She's a battery salesman. She sells "C" cells by the sea shore!" |
