> >It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
> >admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven,
>you had to have a real bummer day on the day that you died. The policy
> would go into effect at noon the next day.
> >So, the next day at 12:01, the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
> >The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the
> >man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going
> >when you died."
> >
> >"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my
> >lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere
> >in sight; immediately I began searching for him. My wife was half naked
> >and yelling at me as I searched the apartment. Just as I was about to
> >give up, I happened to glance out ! onto the balcony and there was a man
> >hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I
> >ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the
> >ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that
> >broke his fall and he didn't die.This ticked me off even more. In a rage,
> >I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to
> >throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the
> >refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped
> >it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement
> >of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.
> >"The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have
>a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announces, "OK sir.
> >Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
> >
> >A few seconds later the next guy came up. "Greetings, friend: before I
> >can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you
> >died.
> >
> >"The man said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this, I was
> >on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had
> >been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my
> >stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally
> >fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by my finger tips
> >on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes out
> >of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well of
> >course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my
> >fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the
> >ground, unable to move! and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push
>his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and
> >lands on top of me killing me instantly.
> >
> >"The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.
> >"I could get used to this new policy", he thinks to himself. "Very well
> >sir," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he
> >lets the man enter.
> >
> >A few seconds later, President Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is
> >almost too shocked to speak.Thoughts of assassination and war pour
> >through the Angel's head. Finally he says "Mr. President, please tell
>me what it was like the day you died.
> >
> >"Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked inside a refrigerator..." |
