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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: SteveJerseyShore who wrote (30467)1/28/2004 2:47:36 PM
From: SteveJerseyShore   of 62563
 
RAMBLINGS of a RETIRED MIND:

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones
that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my
garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it
"Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease .. that's when your chest
is falling into your drawers!

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, do
you have a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case
of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while
they delivered the mail?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older then it dawned on me . . they were cramming for their
finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
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