Assault with a Deadly Watermelon
One upon a a time, there was a rookie crime-beat reporter who persisted in hanging around the desk sergeant, pestering him for stories. This upstart would even go so far as to rifle through the day's log when Sarge was away from his desk, further annoying Sarge. One day, when Sarge could take no more, he got a bright idea. He entered into the official police log, as one of the day's police calls, "Assault with a deadly watermelon." The rookie reporter, upon seeing this, begins badgering Sarge to give him the details, whereupon Sarge spins this yarn:
Johnny and his girlfriend had been having a knock-down, drag-out fight in a downtown, 10th floor flophouse apartment. When Johnny fled from the apartment, out into the street, the girlfriend dropped this 23-pound watermelon from the 10th story window, smack onto Johnny, breaking his shoulder. The girlfriend was charged with assault with a deadly watermelon.
Well, the next day, this hoax of a story wound up on the second page of the LA Times. Supposedly the LA Times fired the reporter, and the LAPD gave Sarge days off without pay.
There is someone around here who insists this is funny and it belongs on the joke thread. Honest.
I channel many people. Occasionally, to their disgust, I even admit who they are. |
