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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke

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From: Doug Coughlan1/19/2006 9:23:41 AM
   of 62592
 
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish..............................49
Adventurous..................Slept with everyone
Athletic............................No tits
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure.............On medication
Feminist...........................Fat
Free spirit.........................Junkie/Lush
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun.................................Annoying
New-Age.......................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned....................No BJs on the First Date
Open-minded.....................Desperate
Outgoing.......................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Professional.......................Bitch
Voluptuous....................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever
think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = I really need sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
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