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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: emidio who wrote (3567)10/20/1997 5:15:00 AM
From: Rich Genik   of 62562
 
Couple of Additions:

THE DATA AND THEORY ARE IN EXCELLENT AGREEMENT: the data and the theory are in good agreement.

THE DATA AND THEORY ARE IN GOOD AGREEMENT: poor agreement.

THE DATA AND THEORY ARE IN REASONABLE AGREEMENT: non-existent.

THE THEORY AGREES WITH THE DATA PRESENTED HERE: if I actually put the theory line on the data plot, the journal referees would have rejected this paper.

A FIDUCIAL REFERENCE LINE : a scratch

OF TRMENDOUS INTEREST TO THE FUTURE OF OUR FIELD: my funding comes up for renewal in a couple of months.

APPENDIX A: algebra really doesn't belong in a journal of this caliber, but spent 4 *WEEKS* trying to figure out where I dropped that factor of 2.

APPENDIX B: papers in this journal are usually at minimum 20 pages.

onto THESES:

MORE CAREFUL STUDY IS REQUIRED IN THE FUTURE TO REDUCE THIS SYSTEMATIC EFFECT: I knocked up my wife and had to graduate.

OUR FINAL RESULT COMPARES WELL WITH PREVIOUS MEASUEMENTS: the Graduate School was kicking me out for taking too long.

...ACKNOWLEDGE THE CONTRIBUTIONS OF MY ADVISOR: I met with this guy about once a month and each time I wasted two weeks answering questions which turned out to not to apply to the final answer.

...ACKNOWLEDGE THE CONTRIBUTIONS OF MY ADVISOR DURING THE PRELIMINARY PHASE OF THIS ANASYSIS: I stopped giving updates two years ago.

...MANY THANKS TO MY GUIDANCE COMMITTEE: these guy's signatures are required on my thesis by the University.

...MANY THANKS TO MY GUIDANCE COMMITTEE, ESPECIALLY PROFS. X,Y, AND Z: these three guys remembered my name at my defense.

...MANY THANKS TO THE VARIOUS FUNDING AGENCIES: these guys paid me 15k/year for the last seven years while all of my friends from undergrad were making 45k.

cheers,

Rich
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