I dont know if this is new, but I am sure some of you will get a kick out of this:
My friend, Tony just died. He wanted to go to heaven and was rejected by Jesus. Tony asked why and Jesus replied, "You cheated on income taxes. To let you be a part of the Kingdom of God, you have to sleep with this woman in God's domain for 5 years and act like you like it. Then you will receive official citizenship in Heaven"
In the next few years in Heaven, Tony pleased this 500-pound, dog ugly woman with bad facial hair and terrible breath and act like he enjoyed it.
One day, he saw one of his old friend Joey, also with a woman, but even bigger and worse looking than his own. Tony asked Joey, "So what made you stay with her?" Joey sadly replied, "I cheated majorly on my income taxes." So these two sorry individual started hanging together for the rest of the day to relieve their sorrows.
As they were walking, they saw a mutual friend of theirs, Howard, with a beautiful, leggy, busty, sexy and curvy centerfold model dressed in micro-mini skirt. Tony and Joey, very curious, pulled Howard to the side and ask what happened. Howard did nothing wrong in life and went to heaven without questions asked. He hooked up with this girl right from the start, and he said, "In this three years, I had the best sex I ever had. But strangly, every time after we have sex, my sexy partner rolls over and say, "Damn those income taxes.""
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