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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke
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To: Steve Robinett who wrote (4022)11/30/1997 1:50:00 PM
From: Jay Bilotta  Read Replies (2) of 62554
 
Sign on an electrician's truck:
"Let Us Remove Your Shorts."

Sign Outside a radiator repair shop in a small midwestern town:
"Best Place in Town to Take a Leak."

Sign in a realtor's office:
"Lots for little."

Sign in a non-smoking area:
"If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

Sign on the door of the maternity ward:
"Push Push Push."

Sign in a bookstore:
"We treat you write."

Sign on a front door:
"Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

Sign in an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

Sign on a scientist's door:
"Gone fission."

Sign in a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

Sign in a podiatrist's window:
"Time wounds all heels."

Sign in a butcher's window:
"Let me meat your needs."

Sign on used car lot:
"Second hand cars in first crash condition."

Sign on fence:
"Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

Sign in a car dealership office:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Sign over a cannibal's hut:
"I never met a man I didn't like."

Sign in a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

Sign at a hotel.
"Help! We need inn-experienced people."

Sign in a science teacher's room:
"If it moves, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics."

Sign on auto body shop:
"May we have the next dents?"

Sign at the dry cleaner's window:
"Drop your pants here."

Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery:
"Reserved for plant manager."

Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward:
"Please do not disturb further."

Sign in an office:
"We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

Sign in a veterinary's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Sign on music teachers' door:
"Out Chopin."

Sign at the electric company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

Sign in beauty shop window:
"Dye now!"

Sign on a garbage truck:
"We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

Sign at a computer store:
"Out for a quick byte."

Sign on restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."

Sign in a bowling alley:
"Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

Sign for a litter of dachshund pups:
"Get a 'long' little doggie!"

Sign on a music library's door:
"Bach in a minuet."

Sign on the inside of a bathroom stall:
"Beware of limbo dancers."

Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Sign in school:
"In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended."

Sign on an asphalt truck:
"Let us fill your crack."

Sign at a muffler shop:
"No muff too tough for us!"

Sign seen on an electricity pylon:
"DANGER! Touching these wires will result in instant death. Violators will be severely prosecuted."
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